A New Year

Welcome to the year 2006. I hope this year will be positive and we find new and safe ways to talk about abuse.

Male Rape Victims Speak Out for the Boys

A new program launched in the fall of 2005 is making some progress in educating people about the reality that male sexual abuse is just as common as abuse against females:

Embraced by both the education and correctional services departments, a campaign encouraging male sexual abuse victims to speak out has made significant inroads since its launch three months ago.

Established in October by Sara Jones, For the Boys has so far set up a network with 100 prisons, schools and dozens of social workers across the country.

Her book Return to Innocence has been made the centrepiece of the campaign and thousands of copies have been distributed for free.

This week the department of education awarded it a five-star rating, allowing schools to freely download the book. According to Jones, the campaign has been effective.

"In one incident an 18-year-old man in Johannesburg revealed to us that his grandfather abused him every night. He is now in a safehouse.

Judge Dismissed Pope Bendict From Sexual Abuse Case

Pope Benedict is no longer accused of being part of an abuse case cover up:

A U.S. judge on Thursday dismissed Pope Benedict from a civil lawsuit lodged against him and other Roman Catholic church officials that accused them of covering up sexual abuse of a minor by a seminary student.

In a written ruling, U.S. District Judge Lee Rosenthal agreed with a motion filed by the Vatican that Pope Benedict enjoyed "head-of-state immunity" in the case.

Three unnamed plaintiffs in the case have said church officials ignored their pleas to investigate Juan Carlos Patino-Arango, who they accused of sexual abuse, and that the clergy helped him leave the country.

Apparently, Mrs. Robinson Is Everywhere

The Australian has a piece talking more about females abusing young males:

CINEMA audiences were shocked and titillated when the predatory Mrs Robinson seduced a college kid in the 1967 film The Graduate. Forty years later, Mrs Robinson is turning up everywhere, including in the schoolyard and with under-age partners.

In the latest Australian cases to hit the headlines, two female teachers are accused of sexual relationships with 15-year-old boys. Bridget Nolan, 24, of Adelaide faces the prospect of jail after pleading guilty to having sex with a pupil, while a 36-year-old Melbourne woman has been charged after allegedly engaging in oral sex on six occasions this year with a student attending her North Melbourne school.

A third Australian, former Melbourne PE teacher Karen Louise Ellis, was released in October after six months in prison following her affair with a 15-year-old student. His mother, the same age as Ellis, reported the pair after finding 499 text messages from the former teacher on her son's mobile phone.

In the US, a rash of high-profile cases involving female teachers and their teen lovers has led to a raging debate over whether a double standard applies when it comes to the way society, the media and the courts view sexual misconduct and the web of ethical, moral and legal issues involved.

At the heart of the debate is Debra Lafave, 25, a Florida teacher described in news reports as a sexpot, "hottie" and the subject of every teenage boy's dreams. Lafave's blonde good looks and second job as a bikini model led to her defence lawyer in effect claiming she was too pretty to send to jail for repeated sex with a 14-year-old pupil.

U.S. Teacher Sexpidemic

It appears that people find the "increase" in sexual abuse by female teachers is speading across the world. It has been happening all the time, but reporting seems to be on the rise.

The seeming U.S. epidemic of cases involving female teachers raping or molesting their students has been "sexported" Down Under, as Australia is experiencing a similar rash of cases.

Bridget Mary Nolan, 24, of Adelaide, Australia, is facing a possible seven-year prison term after admitting to three counts of sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old student in late July.

"The victim ... and his family are the subject of a lot of scrutiny by members of the school community and (the) town community in which they live," prosecutor Elizabeth Griffith told a court hearing. "The victim has ... been teased and bullied and pointed out within the school community as somebody who might have been involved with the teacher."

Meanwhile, another woman teacher is facing charges for allegedly seducing one of her own 15-year-old students.

Natalina D'Addario, a 36-year-old languages instructor from the Melbourne area is accused of beginning a sexual relationship with the teen in May.

Police say they engaged in oral sex on six occasions through July off school grounds. The affair reportedly came to a close in September when the boy notified his assistant principal of the liaisons.

These two cases are the latest in a series of Australian women having illicit relations with their male students

Sexual Abuse On The Rise In Delaware

There appears to be an increase in sexual abuse reporting in Delaware.

DOVER - Oct. 7: Man held on rape charges.

Nov. 18: Priest accused of sex abuse.

Nov. 23: Dover man charged with raping teen.

The date changes, but headlines in the newspaper carry a grim, yet repetitive message - Downstate sex crimes increased over last year and the victims are children.

However, John R. Humphrey, executive director of the Children's Advocacy Center of Delaware Inc. for nearly a decade, believes the number of child predators who are reported and prosecuted represent only a small percentage of the actual perpetrators of the crime.

Because crimes against children are frequently not reported by the child, and because there are many avenues for handling a complaint, experts struggle to determine an exact number of victims.

"Those are just the ones you know about," Mr. Humphrey said.

"I believe there are 75 to 80 percent more we don't know about it. There are victims who have never told."

Although Delaware has a mandatory reporting system in which teachers and day-care providers are required to report suspected abuse, Delaware State Police Sgt. Charles Mullett also believes the crime occurs more frequently than it's reported.

"The increase is staggering," Sgt. Mullett said.

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Sex With Young Males "Might Be Okay"

There appears to be some issues developing over whether or not males can be sexual abused it appears the age of consent (for boys only) is something that is being looked at.

WHEN Sandra Beth Geisel, a former Catholic schoolteacher, was sentenced to six months in jail last month for having sex with a 16-year-old student, she received sympathy from a surprising source.

The judge, Stephen Herrick of Albany County Court in New York, told her she had "crossed the line" into "totally unacceptable" behavior. But, he added, the teenager was a victim in only the strictly legal sense. "He was certainly not victimized by you in any other sense of the word," the judge said. The prosecutor and a lawyer for the boy's family called the judge's comments outrageous. But is it possible that the 16-year-old wasn't really harmed?

The last few months have produced a spate of cases where women are prosecuted for having sex with boys: Debra LaFave of Florida, another teacher, faces trial for sleeping with a 14-year-old student; Lisa Lynette Clark of Georgia was impregnated by her son's 15-year-old friend, whom she married a day before she was arrested; Silvia Johnson of Colorado was sentenced to 30 years for having sex with teenagers and providing drugs and alcohol.

The web of law and life, apparently, need to be untangled.

Certainly no one doubts that a teacher who has sex with her students should lose her job. Or that a 37-year-old mother should not find herself pregnant by her son's 15-year-old friend. Or that a 41-year-old mother who provides sex, drugs and alcohol to teenagers so she can be cool among her daughter's friends is troubled.

But when the women face prison, questions are raised about where to set the age of consent. And because many of those named as victims refused to testify against the women in what they said were consensual relationships, not everyone agrees that the cases involve child abuse.

"We need to untangle the moral issues from the psychological issues from the legal issues," said Carol Tavris, the author of "The Mismeasure of Women" and a social psychologist. "That's the knot." She added: "You may not like something, but does that mean it should be illegal? If we have laws that are based on moral notions and developmental notions that are outdated, do we need to change the laws?"

Though it might seem that way from the headlines, women having sex with teenage boys is not new. A federal Department of Education study called "Educator Sexual Misconduct," released last year, found that 40 percent of the educators who had been reported for sexual misconduct with students were women.

But, finally, a voice of reason and expertise.

Charol Shakeshaft, the author of the study and a professor of education at Hofstra University, said that even when the woman is not a teacher, the relationships are not healthy. "A 16-year-old is just not fully developed," she said. "Male brains tend to develop the part that can make decisions about whether it is a wise thing to do later."

Why do such arguments come up and why are they aimed at telling boys they can do whatever they want?  Why do they think males are immune to this kind of sexual exploitation?  I am sorry to have to tell you all this but - females are not the only ones who can be raped and no matter what "we think the age of consent is" - why not use caution?

Read more of this article here.

Technorati Tags : sexual+abuse, sex+abuse, sexual+abuse+doctors, sexabuse, sexualabuse

Abuse Shield Wanted For Male Doctors

I have talked about this before and I think a system should be put into place.  The "my word against their word" argument is not acceptable.  I would like to think people do not accuse others of sexual abuse in order to "get back at them" or to "make them do something" - but that will never happen.

A gynaecologist in Orissa's Bhadrak town was arrested earlier this week for allegedly raping a patient. The doctor denied the charge.

A government doctor in Khurda was suspended a couple of months ago for allegedly molesting a female patient. The doctor alleged frame-up.

Healing has its pitfalls in Orissa. At least for men. Male doctors are crying for safety nets so that they can treat women without risking allegations of sexual harassment. A spate of arrests and suspensions of doctors in government hospitals has forced male doctors to demand written undertakings from the husbands and parents of women patients for treatment of "sensitive body parts".

In Bhubaneswar's Capital Hospital, doctors are referring women to lady doctors. Madhusudan Mishra, president of the Orissa Medical Service Association (OSMA), said, "Under the circumstances, the only solution is that either the lady doctors treat women or the government put checks in place to prevent allegations of sexual abuse."

What kind of system would benefit the world - I just don't know.

Technorati Tags : sexual+abuse, sex+abuse, sexual+abuse+doctors, sexabuse, sexualabuse

Gary Glitter

It appears Gary Glitter, the 1970's rocker, was arrested last month on suspicion of sexual abuse in Vietnam where the musician has been living for the last six months.

Glitter, 61, is being held in Vietnam under suspicion of committing lewd acts with children, which he has denied. He has not been charged.

News agency AFP quoted police who said Glitter had admitted the girl spent the night with him but denied all abuse.

Glitter said the girl had slept in his bed as she was afraid of ghosts, his lawyer told another news agency, AP.

Glitter - whose real name is Paul Francis Gadd - had his detention extended by four months last week, while claims he had sex with under-age girls, one aged 12, are investigated.

I don't know if he has committed some form of abuse against a child because I am more concerned with the treatment of the situation.

Technorati Tags : sexualabuse, sexabuse, gary+glitter

One In Six Men Are Victims of Childhood Sex Abuse

HealthDay News has an article regarding some statistics about sexual abuse:

THURSDAY, May 19 (HealthDay News) -- One in six adult men reported being sexually molested as children, and -- in a surprise finding -- nearly 40 percent of the perpetrators were female, a new study found.

Women fared even worse, with one in four reporting childhood molestation, in almost all cases perpetrated by males.

Both male and female victims had higher rates of substance abuse, mental illness and troubled marriages.

The findings are contained in a study of more than 17,000 California residents that appears in the June issue of the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

"Children of both genders are vulnerable to childhood sexual abuse," said study lead author Shanta Dube, an epidemiologist with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "And the long-term effects are similar, regardless of the gender of the victim."

Child molestation has been in the public eye since the 1970s. But much of the focus has been on female victims because awareness of the problem first sprang from the women's movement and rape-crisis centers, explained Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, a research associate professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire who has studied child sex abuse.

Consequently, the treatment of the health effects of childhood abuse also focused on women. "I don't think they were trying to exclude men, it's just that so many of the patients were women," she said.

In the last few years, the Catholic Church abuse scandal has focused more attention on males who were molested as children. But studies of male sexual abuse have tended to focus on those men who have sought psychological help, Dube said.

Read more here.

Technorati Tags : sexualabuse, sexabuse, statistics+sexual+abuse

Book List For Survivors

Books are A list of books found on Doubting Thomas:

Grubman-Black, Stephen D. Broken Boys/Mending Men: Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse. Bradenton, FL: Human Services Institute/TAB Books, 1990.
ISBN: 0-8306-3562-9 (ppb)
Author identifies as a survivor. Includes "portions of stories" by other survivors. Reference listing.

Hunter, Mic. Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse. New York: Fawcett Columbine/Ballantine, 1990. ISBN: 0-449-90629-9 (ppb)
Author has a 12-Step background. Book is in two parts. Part I, "What is Sexual Abuse," presents psycho-education, definitions, issues, etc. Part II, "Survival Stories," presents first-person accounts, by eighteen male survivors and one wife of a male survivor who was herself abused, and makes up the larger part of the book. Resource listing, bibliography.

Hunter, Mic (editor). The Sexually Abused Male, Volume I: Prevalence, Impact, and Treatment New York: Lexington Books (MacMillan), 1990. ISBN: 0-669-21518-X (Volume II is more clinical, addressing treatment issues and strategies.)
A variety of writers and subject matter, organized in three parts: Cultural Factors, Prevalence and Impact, and Assessment Issues. The second chapter, "Cinematic Treatment of Sexual Abuse and Rape of Men and Boys," by James W. Trivelpiece, provides an exhaustive review of movies in which male sexual assault is mentioned or addressed (rarely with sensitivity). The third part includes two chapters on female perpetrators.

King, Neal. Speaking our Truth: Voices of Courage and Healing for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. New York: HarperCollins, 1995.
ISBN: 0-006-095058-7 (ppb)
Author identifies as a survivor. Compilation of personal statements, poetry, and one section of drawings by male survivors. The author groups the writings and frames them with brief paragraphs. Brief (two-page) listing of suggested reading.

Lew, Mike. Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse. New York: Harper & Row, 1988.
ISBN: 0-06-097300-5 (ppb)
Primarily psycho-educational in content. Includes first-person accounts by eleven male survivors. Includes a "Resources" chapter that lists organizations, newsletters, books and articles.

Sanders, Timothy L. Male Survivors: 12-Step Recovery Program for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press (1991). ISBN: 0-89594-485-5 (ppb)
Author identifies as a survivor. 12-step focus. The author concludes each chapter with suggested exercises, checklists, etc. Short list of support groups and long list of suggested readings, grouped by "Life Area:" psychological, spiritual, etc.

There is more on the website.

Technorati Tags : sexualabuse, sexabuse, sexual+abuse, books, self+help

Male Abuse Victims Are Not Gay

There is a lot of talk in the news about whether or not male abuse victims are gay.  I don't believe this is true since my wife might be a little angry with me.  I am not attracted to men and I don't harbor any desire to change my mind.  Males who have experienced abuse can "go either way" in my opinion.  And, I certainly don't care whether some one likes the same sex or not.  I have seen the dark side of what sex can be and I hope anyone finding pleasure in sex after what I went through is a surprise.

A great web resource, KaliMunro.com, talks about this:

Since male-to-male sexual abuse is believed to be the equivalent of gay sex, the victim is also believed to be gay. Some survivors are even called "fags" by the men who abuse them. Others don't tell anyone about the abuse because they know that they'll be blamed and taunted with homophobic slurs. One survivor told me that after he went public about being a survivor, he was in a store holding hands with his girlfriend and someone said,"I thought he'd be a fag".

It goes on to talk about how men are never viewed as being victims - or being victims at all.

A common myth is that men cannot be victims. The thinking goes, "He's a guy...he could have stopped it if he really wanted to." It's assumed that the survivor must have consented because sexual abuse does not happen to "real" men, and thus since he must have consented, he must be gay. Add to this the common, but mistaken belief that boys and men cannot become erect or ejaculate unless they are aroused or consent, and we have a powerful and pervasive belief system that keeps male survivors silent and ashamed.

Technorati Tags : sexualabuse, sexabuse, gay, homosexual

 

Instructor Aquitted of Sexual Abuse Charges

A retired teacher in Ontario has been acquitted of sexual abuse charges.

A 69-year-old retired teacher from Upper Canada College has been acquitted of charges he sexually abused a young student almost two decades ago.

Herbert Sommerfeld, who taught at the prestigious private school for 36 years, faced charges including sexual assault and sexual interference.

His accuser, who cannot be identified, said the attacks started when he was nine and continued until he was fourteen. The man is now 28.

The judge in the case said he found the accuser's testimony filled with inconsistencies and that it was sometimes evasive.

Sommerfeld welcomed the verdict, but said he has endured 18 months of torture since being charged.

It's been horrendous, it's been just a nightmare," said the retired teacher. "It's been very difficult. It's been something that has been on my mind almost every waking moment. It's a dreadful experience."

 

Technorati Tags : sexualabuse, sexabuse, toronto, ontario, canada

Is Abuse Of Male Students By Female Abusers On The Rise?

According to the Daily York Record, there appears to be a rise in female teachers abusing young male students .

Increasingly, female teachers are being accused of having a sexual relationship with a student. In the past 18 months, in fact, at least 26 court cases involved female teachers accused of molesting students, said Robert J. Shoop, a professor at Kansas State University and author of "Sexual Exploitation in Schools: How to Spot It and Stop It."

Erica Rutters, a married Dover resident who taught at the Oxford Christian Academy in Adams County, was charged last month with corruption of minors stemming from her alleged sexual relationship with a 16-year-old male student.

Young boys are easy to sexually stimulate, Shoop said. They usually say they enjoyed the relationship. The issue is whether they are emotionally and psychologically ready.

Jason Klinedinst, the alleged victim in the local case, and his mother, Vicki Klinedinst consented to an interview and the use of his name. He said he had sex with Rutters. He said he was a willing participant in the relationship.

Shoop is skeptical when a young boy characterizes his relationship with a teacher. A child is not mature enough for that kind of relationship. It gives them experiences way beyond their maturity level. Speaking generally about such cases, Shoop said that many times, the teacher has shown a lack of maturity.

"It's a relationship with a teacher," Shoop said. "It's a failure on the part of the adult who does not understand her moral, legal and ethical duties."

There is the assumption that because males are just that - males - they are immune to the stress and shame encountered when having experienced the exploitation of an abuser.  Females are no different in their roles as abuser.

Women typically focus on one child and embark on a falling-in-love relationship, Shoop said.

It's called grooming. Many child molesters, particularly women, groom their victims over months, cultivating their friendship and trust, Shoop said.

Boys are less prone to think a teacher's attentions and sexual advances are wrong because of societal messages, according to a Dec. 1 article in District Administration, a magazine for K-12 education leaders.

They think it's cool, and go along with it even if they are confused, according to the article. As they mature, the boy victims of sexual abuse by teachers separate their emotions from the act and have trouble with intimacy.

Christina Mauhar, director of the Victim Assistance Center in York County, said most sexual abuse cases have to do with power.

"Generally, the female perpetrator is not looking to harm the kid," Mauhar said. "They view him as a beautiful object they want to love. It all comes down to power and control."

Women tend to be looking for something that's missing from their lives, Mauhar said. They typically suffer from low self-esteem, fear of rejection, and lack of social skills. There is a huge difference between men and women child molesters, she said.

If a woman does not feel she has power in her life, she may seek a relationship with someone more vulnerable than herself to gain the feeling of having power, Mauhar said.

Sexual abuse is under-reported in our society and even more so with boys. Society's double standard views sexual assaults on girls as reprehensible and shows less understanding about boy victims, she said. We hush talk about sexual assaults on boys.

"Our silence protects the wrong people," Mauhar said. "Our silence protects the perpetrator."

Female perpetrators rely more on verbal coercion. They don't give the boy a chance to consent, Mauhar said.

Technorati Tags : sexabuse, sexualabuse, femaleabusers, studentvictims, studentabuse