There is a lot of talk in the news about whether or not male abuse victims are gay. I don't believe this is true since my wife might be a little angry with me. I am not attracted to men and I don't harbor any desire to change my mind. Males who have experienced abuse can "go either way" in my opinion. And, I certainly don't care whether some one likes the same sex or not. I have seen the dark side of what sex can be and I hope anyone finding pleasure in sex after what I went through is a surprise.
A great web resource, KaliMunro.com, talks about this:
Since male-to-male sexual abuse is believed to be the equivalent of gay sex, the victim is also believed to be gay. Some survivors are even called "fags" by the men who abuse them. Others don't tell anyone about the abuse because they know that they'll be blamed and taunted with homophobic slurs. One survivor told me that after he went public about being a survivor, he was in a store holding hands with his girlfriend and someone said,"I thought he'd be a fag".
It goes on to talk about how men are never viewed as being victims - or being victims at all.
A common myth is that men cannot be victims. The thinking goes, "He's a guy...he could have stopped it if he really wanted to." It's assumed that the survivor must have consented because sexual abuse does not happen to "real" men, and thus since he must have consented, he must be gay. Add to this the common, but mistaken belief that boys and men cannot become erect or ejaculate unless they are aroused or consent, and we have a powerful and pervasive belief system that keeps male survivors silent and ashamed.
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